At the End, It's All Business

"Youth is wasted on the young," you often hear. Being a member of a demographic that might be considered, "not as youthful as they used to be," I can see why someone (obviously, another member in the same "not as youthful..." demographic group) would remark this, possibly while observing some foolhardy behavior or decision by a youth (definitely NOT a member). This understanding -- the empathy -- deepened as I progressed further into the aforementioned demographic over the years, but one thing I also began to realize that it's not merely an admonition, but there's an undertone of jealous yearning behind it. I can almost hear, "if I was at that age..." line of speech coming after the "youth is wasted on the young" remark.

One of the most tragic things you observe more often as a part of this getting-not-as-youthful-as-you-used-to-be is how those around you succumb to the notion that at the end, it's all business: the idea that ultimately, all motivations are self-serving when you strip away the veneer of manner to expose raw, naked character; when you find yourself in a situation where there's a mad, every-man-for-himself kind of desperate scrambling on what feels like a sinking ship; when you have a life-and-death decision before you.

The big problem with this, however, is not so much in that notion itself, but the tolerance with which people judge what that situation is which merits such decision. You observe things like integrity, loyalty, compassion and trust being too easily betrayed for far less noble things as people grow and surround themselves with more material possessions -- and they find themselves accumulate more loans that they have to repay, bigger mortgage checks, and heftier payments for nicer cars. In a sinking ship situation, you find, unfortunately, what gets jettisoned is often the wrong things.

A mentor that I deeply respect has recently advised me to consider that 'at the end, it's all business' when I was struggling over a decision to choose between two options that involved (in some part) an obligation... and this obligation was such that whoever subscribed to the notion that 'it's all business' (that, would probably be, all of us) would readily understand if it was not met. He was right -- it was a sensible choice that anyone who I'd have sought consel from would have prodded me to choose -- and I know that he was looking out for my best interest when he reminded me of it. I wrestled with the decision for days, but as I was trying to lean more toward the decision which was obviously more profitable (at the 'trivial' price of glossing over that ancilliary obligation), I became deeply disturbed by how sad it was we're surrounded by situations that people who care for you would have to remind you that it's an every-man-for-himself kind of world that we live in, precisely because they want you to succeed.

When you hear about some seemingly shortsighted decisions some kid made, or naive thinking that ended up a foolhardy teenager antic, you often see (adult) shaking heads in ways that you'd expect how a person who remarks, 'youth is wasted on the young' in such situations might jesture. However, when I think back to a lot of times that I was that kid, no matter what the consequence ended up being, most often, I remember that the intention was of the genuine and goodwill kind.

I miss the days when you didn't know much about life; the decisions that were made in a heartbeat in such days, nowadays, take days of calculating, churning and considering to be thought through. (Well, the noticible reduction in mental capacity that comes with age also doesn't help mattters.) I also don't remember much about calcuating and 'thinking through,' but that's probably just me! :-)

So, after all the wrestling, I just made a decision that was contrary to 'it's all business at the end' advice. Friend, please pray for me that I will not be swayed by the prices I might have to end up paying for my decision, and that the consequences (the adverse kind) will not weaken my resolve to the point where I'll begin to regret my choice.

Funny thing is, even with this, I cannot help but be thankful for the friends, family and mentors who look out for my best interest, no matter whether I follow their advice or not.

Uh oh... hold on now.

I'm beginning to remember the time when I ignored my mom saying, "Choong, keep your hands away from that range top... it's really hot."

(*gulp!*)

.....

(Pray for me, friends!) ;-)